It's all too sweet to last

Everyone has a Narnia. A place where you feel you belong to wholly; a place where you will fall in love with slowly, but deeply; a place where you will never feel like leaving because it will be a betrayal if you do; a place where you will fight for, with all your heart.

I like this ideal the Chronicles of Narnia presents; so enticing, so alluring. I’m not talking about dreams and little havens you create, but a real place where you feel comfortable in settling in for your entire life. It may not be perfect; God knows Narnia is not, at least not with all the warring over the throne and evil mystic creatures that lurk in shadows. But it somehow still has the power to draw people there, the way it does to Lucy and Edmund; while Susan would be the exception, as those not enthralled by this magical land.

Most of us have been fortunate enough to be exposed to many Narnias; countries we have had a chance to visit, though they weren’t long stays. I don’t know about you, but some places hit me harder than the rest, like how I was enchanted by Gifu with all its beatific scenery and lovely people, and less so by Tokyo that was buried under skyscrapers, materialism and the dull drone of vehicles.

But I doubt I would settle there in the future thought, it’s too…polite, too organized. I need a place that allows me to channel my chaos and uncontained energy, also known as sugar rush, in full force. I want to do things now, at the spur of the moment, when the waves of my zingy spontaneity are high enough for me to ride on before it all crashes down on me and the stray droplets split the sun into a rainbow.

I’m still searching for my Narnia, a place where, as Carrie Underwood puts it, “we can be the kings and queens of anything we believe in.”

I want back that exuberating feeling I had in Disneyland, that I could have anything and everything I set my eyes on; that I could be a somebody; that I was strong enough to take any fall and climb back up unscathed; that I could conquer the world.

I want to find that place, wherever it is, but I know it’s not here. 

Don't tell me what to feel

I'm not proud of you. Deal with it. 

You're Beautiful

Ajahn Brahm told us that the end of a funeral is like the closing of curtains on a wonderful concert.

We don’t feel sad after listening to great symphony or rocking out to the tunes of your favourite band, we are awed, mesmerized, enchanted. We are struck by an empowering gratitude of being given a chance to be part of a masterpiece; of being able to witness the success of an amazing performance.  

We should feel the same about the ending of a life. We should not cry for the passing of someone close, but be happy for him or her, as his or her life journey had been a beautiful stage act and you are blessed enough to be part of it, no matter how short. Celebrate his or her life and all the fruitful outcomes, the way Grammy, Emmy, Oscar and shits of the likes worship legendary artists who are gone. He or she is in ethereal comfort now, shouldn’t that account for some happiness, if anything but on the person’s behalf? Prince Caspian is right: Look at what you have gained and not what you have lost.

I will try that.

But that doesn’t mean I want to stop dreaming about her. 

Fall on your knees and hear our angelic voices

Thank you for defining Christmas for me (:

Is it this dancing juice?

Life is like Christmas caroling, if you care to minus the chilly air, falling snow and jolly atmosphere.

It tugs and nips at us through the chapters the way the thrill of the season sweeps the carolers from door to door, or in my case, station to station; at times an inevitable responsibility, at others, an act of courage.

You would never know what awaits you as the boat docks; whether the audience would embrace your merry tunes with whooping cheers and hearty applause or with eww-you-freaks sideway glances and arched eyebrows that make you question your bravery.

If there is anything I have learnt in these 48 hours of caroling, which comes in an incredibly huge nutshell of singing, dancing, photo-taking when the brats kids request, hollering greetings between stations, and weird sorts of merry-making, it would be that. We spend our lifetime caroling, all the while hoping that the next house we knock on would treat us well. 

You fill my heart

2nd December 2010

I’ve waited 14 years for this; the one step that transports me from the dull ordinary to the magical place where the very air itself sparkles with fairy dust, the atmosphere tinkles with laughter and the picturesque decorations puff happiness.

My last memory of one of these sacred havens was back in 1996, and it was a blur of freezing weather, hot drinks, human-sized cartoon characters and scenes from sitting on my dad’s shoulders.

But I’m finally back, with widened eyes, an appetite for pretty sights and a fully charged camera.

Ah, Disneyland, baby. 

I giggled when I read the golden engraving of the magnificent word above the entrance. Sensei just bought me a ticket to be a 6-year-old again! My heart nearly combust under such concentrated dosage of ecstasy, that the only way to prevent the fuel from being ignited was to submerge myself into an inert state of constant sugar rush.

I bet you Sluts could picture me well, sprinting from one end to the other, squealing and clapping my hands in glee, my lips wrapping around an invisible straw with my eyes mirroring the 'O' shape, and, of course, finding every possible available spot to self-time the camera for group shots. 

And I more or less lost my speech too. All I could express was, “Oh my God”, “Awwww” and sharp intakes of awe-induced breaths. Honestly, Disney should be sued for causing fatal swelling of minds from immense indescribable wonder. 

It was a miracle I didn't just died the moment I laid eyes on Cinderella's castle. Or the It's A Small World kingdom. Or any of the surreal-looking buildings. 

Even surprising was, amidst all these marvel, we managed to ride 6 rides, and one of them twice. 

1. Space Mountain - The best 30 seconds in my life. Enough said. The entire ride was in darkness, through a tube of blinding starlights that distract you from attempting to figure out the works of the track. If you fail to ride this during your trip to any of the Disneyland, you might as well burn that ticket of yours. 

2. Mini Chip & Dale coaster - It was fit for 4 year olds. But we screamed throughout the ride just to annoy the hell out of the rest of the passengers. 

3. It's a Small World - My mouth muscles cramped from all the OooOoOOooo-ing I articulated during the whole boat ride. 

4. Haunted Mansion - It was anything but haunted. We yelled HELL-O to every single hideous creature that popped out to frighten us. Amazing animation though. And the incredible detail they put into the characters and scenery simply floored me. 

5. Thunder Mountain - Think Space Mountain with lights on, and you could see the tracks stretch out before you. Loved the wind in my hair, even if the split seconds in the open air turned my fingernails blue. 

6. Buzz Lightyear - Put 2 full-grown youths in a kid-size cart, give them a plastic Buzz Lightyear gun each to shoot invading villains, complete with a control stick to spin the tiny box around so as to defend themselves from all angles, and you have the Buzz Lightyear 2-minute ride. 

Food was wicked, as far as humongous turkey legs, Mickey Mouse ice-creams and cinnamon-and-sugar sprinkled churros were considered. I know my sis would chaffed at our lack of desire to try out every single adorable Disney-ed food sold there, but our priority was to cam-whore, soak in all the beauty and ride as many rides as possible. 

And my self-timer skill raised cam-whoring to a whole new level.

 Gan, Zi Ming, me, Joelle, Izzat and Seong Seong

 Chip & Dale's tree house

 Minnie Mouse's cottage

The mini roller coaster

 Yes that's the only thing I had for lunch

 Haunted Mansion

 It's a Small World kingdom

Prince Philip and Princess Aurora

Thanks to blogger being an ass, I can only upload a couple of photos. If you're my friend, my facebook albums will take you on a tour through the magical journey. If you're not, you probably won't be reading this post anyway. 

Once upon a time

For those few magical hours, my heart swelled with the belief that the world is a beautiful place and that dreams do come true.