Oh, this has gotta be a good life

I have passed all of my papers.

For that, I feel blessed. Not giddy-happy, not top-of-the-world elated. Just warmly contented; the way a cat purrs when cuddled and caressed; the way you would sigh when you caught a perfect sunset.

Because I had been granted more than I had wished for, had exceeded the best of my hopes, had wiped away the worst of the expectations that I had steered myself to face and the failure I had prepared my parents to acknowledge.   

Because I had worked my ass off for it, so much that I had practically gave up my social life in college for the past semester.

Because my success is not all me; external motivations and the colourful achievements of others could be strong and demanding forces.

Because I had beautiful people in my life; family, Les Sluts, college mates whom I had wrongly cast aside for months and awesome lecturers.

You made me want to quote One Republic, “This had gotta be a good life….Please tell me what there is to complain about.”

Peace. 

Speaking of One Republic, I'm falling in love with them, all over again (:


And do check out All This Time by them too.

We'll Be A Dream

I miss you. The Moansters. Les Sluts. Idiosyncratics. Or whatever we eventually decide to name ourselves, I don’t freaking care. I just miss you.  

I miss the preposterousness of our topics-in-bitching, the way our voices would go all low and sensual to imply a hidden meaning to the seemingly innocent contexts.

I miss linking my arms through yours and feeling never more safe and loved.

I miss shaking my head at the absurdity of our ideas, but nevertheless relishing in the rush of adrenaline they give, knowing it would one day be another sugary candy in my jar of sweet memories.

I miss the magnetic pull of the camera(s) towards us. It simply adores our resplendently angelic faces, doesn’t it? The thousands of photos (no kidding) hold proof to its stalking us.

I miss the unique secret language we share, the kind developed only when a group of people spend too much time together. I mean, have you guys ever thought how we would look to outsiders when we smile eerily in unison at a particular phrase, even if it were just a statement, a dead fact?

I miss fantasizing our futures: the Pilot with sizzling hot and devastatingly beautiful air stewards and stewardesses-in-attendant, the Lawyer who death-stares down all who stands in the path of our glorious illegal joy ride, the Billboard Topping Artist with her throng of celebs, the Foul Word-Bleeping Rabbi-Turn-Accountant who whooshes away all the bills, the Marketing Executive who exploits our rendezvous and makes it splash across the glossy magazines of Hollywood, the Quantity Surveyor by day and the glamorous Kimora by night, providing the necessary lessons on how to lead a fabulous life, and the Chiropractor with her spa-quality healing hands.

I miss us.

Come back to me, please. 

Just drop the beat and we'll have some fun

20th August 2010


Do you remember the nights we'd stay up just laughing, smiling for hours at anything?
Do you remember the nights we made our way dreaming, hoping of being someone big?
When the lights go out, we'll be safe and sound.
We'll take control of the world, like it's all we have to hold on to.

-We'll be a dream, We The Kings ft. Demi Lovato-

Thank you, babe, for the party. No one can get everyone together like you do (:

Skates, blades and play-dates

My mom does not understand what skating means to me. Probably no one ever does or ever will. To everyone, it is just a rectangular piece of ice that people pay 13 bucks to trace the perimeter mechanically like some trapped clockwork mouse.

But it is not.

It is my form of meditation, the way a repetitive action could be hypnotizing and healing.  

It is my little isle of self-isolation and liberation.

It is my sanctuary, in a twisted sense.

Of course, I’m not saying this because I’m some arrogant snob whose high nose squashes people who doesn’t skate. I’m just stating my point that everyone enters the ice rink for a different reason; some for the thrill and exuberance from the speed that walking on the ground could not give them; some for the adventure that their friends coaxed and promised them into; some out of curiosity; some to pursue their passion in the world of figure skating or ice hockey.

For me, I use my tiny enclosed cool haven to think. I would set my legs to autopilot, my body gliding across the cloudy plane in a grace I could never achieve on land, until my heartbeat calms, my mind breathes serenity and the cacophony of the surroundings fades away. It is just me, the frozen water beneath my feet, the icy breeze in my hair and the scratching of my blades on ice.

Then, almost as if the walls of the dam of my mind could not hold it together, the flood of thoughts would burst through: frustration, anger, pain, crazy happiness, giggly insanity, hollowness, fear, hope and everything else in the mix, everything else that I had felt and been through since the last visit. Even my own room at home does not provide the security this freezing oasis has, because here, there wouldn’t be anyone to knock on the door, to intrude without permission, or to grab my hands and drag me off to dinner.  

Like reading, skating grants me the ability to do away with the rest of the world, to switch it off with a flick of my wrist. I'm not making a cowardly escape, I'm simply bailing out on it, chewing down the harshness of reality till it breaks into incoherent pieces and allows me to face it again. How would YOU deal with the oppression of reality?

Not that I’m ever counting on my mom to understand it. I just need to find ways to haul my ass there with the least resistance from her. Probably working there? Mmm. That would be a perfect part-time job.

Maybe. 

St. Christopher 0 :-)

St. Ying Hui 0 :-)

Peter, a new friend I made at the rink (:

Miss hanging out with you, mate.
We do this again before your leaving for UK?

All my loving, I'll send to you

7th August '10
Perfect weather. Perfect location. Perfect companions.
It was a perfect getaway.
One of those days that makes you feel at peace with the world, that makes you doubt all the cruelty and pain of the harsh reality as just a fleck of your paranoia and sick imagination.
But what was even beautiful was that nothing about the rendezvous was planned, saved the swimming part.
And as the evening unfolded, everything just seemed to fall into place. I could almost hear the soft click of the pieces of puzzles finding home.

Joanna the hostess

Yours truly

Jing Hua

Amanda

Of fedora hats

Of jump stunts

Of arousing poses

Of hanging over the edge

Of floating things

Of caves

Of dinner and chilling out on the roof top

Of 5-star mamak

Too bad I was...distracted.

Kind of pooped my own party, on a personal level.

Oh well.

But it was still a fawsome day.

Miss them lots (:

Now I'm heels over head, I'm hanging upside down

Throughout this entire semester, life had served me the appetizer of exciting beginnings and expected anticipation, the main course of adrenaline-pumping adventures and emotional roller coaster rides and the dessert of caramel sweet endings.

What more, I am soaked from the heavy rainfall of blessings. It was like chancing upon a meteor shower every evening, bathing in its incandescent celestial beauty night after night even if I had probably known I didn’t deserve it. But I appreciated them, whole-heartedly grateful for the little glowing globules of all the wonderful things that I have and had experienced since May.

I had tasted sugar, spice and everything nice, as well as bitter, sour and all those horror. I had fallen in love, with new awesome people I had met along the journey, though it didn’t mean I love my Sluts less. I had stride down paths not trodden, at least unconventional in the norm of the people in the field I’m pursuing. I had stretched the confines of the elastic bubble that was my comfort zone. I had baked my time into a pie and handed out the slices to people who mattered to me, sprinkled with flakes of love. And I had learned to see the extraordinariness in the ordinary.

To sum it up, it had been an amazing voyage, this ‘summer’ term; all because I mustered enough courage to say hello, to the unknown and the faceless fear of attempting something new.

What makes me smile:

1. Amanda spending her summer break back in Malaysia

2. Turned 20 with little fanfare, though I couldn’t imagine a party more perfect and wouldn’t exchange it for the world.

3. BRATs camp. Need no elaboration.

4. Obtained a PR status in Amanda’s house after countless impromptu sleepover at her place, with or without a change of clothes and toothbrush.

5. Travelled to Melacca for a weekend with Amanda, her brother and Shien Yin

6. Caught a hell lot of movies in the cinema, planned or not.

7. Covered a huge event with a bunch of annoying teenagers.

8. Worked as a promoter at a Japanese festival for a day.

9. Hung out with my ex-band mates.

10. Got a chance to star shoot a short video clip with my BRATs mates for Astro’s MyStory campaign for the National Day.

11. Had articles published in the newspapers and online, individually and under BRATs.

12. On academic basis, I pushed myself hard for piano, thanks to my lecturer, learnt more than I ever thought I would about Classical music and composed a song (I found out I’m a master in composing monotonous, irritating ‘stuck-in-the-head’ melodies).

13. Everyday miracles.

When I’ve collected enough smiles in my piggybank, I’ll cash them in for another beautiful summer.

Woke up in London yesterday, found myself in a city near Piccadilly

Much love.

We're free like the falling leaves

24th - 25th July 2010

[Verse]

I can smell the rain in this grey crazy world of ours

So let’s drive out of this ceaseless roundabout

Take a trip to somewhere else

We could drop by a beach with lots of shells

It’s just us and the waves and sky above

[Chorus]

We’re free, we’re free, we’re free

Like the falling leaves

Doesn’t matter where, coz the wind will take us there

We’re free, we’re free, we’re free

Like the falling leaves

So take a plunge and swim with me

[Verse]

We find ourselves in a little town

We walk and walk the way around

At night, we’ll catch stars that fall to the ground

Onion & Ginger

Bonono & KevinTheEmo Leong

Ying Hui, Amanda

Kevin, Shien Yin

Domee (:

Aldy Hotel

*Photos courtesy of Amanda. I just compile and patch them up*

"‘Take a plunge’ is a song telling people to take a break once a while and bask in the beauty that is life. It is also about letting go, cutting loose all strings attached and living life, rather than succumbing to the stress that does nothing but poison us.

I got the inspiration to pen this song during my trip down south to Melacca on a weekend with a couple of my friends. It was the exhilaration of travelling on our own and the sense of liberation that planted the idea and story of the composition." 

-Final project report by Tham Ying Hui

Yes. Those preposterously thought up lines are the lyrics to my song. 

You can stop laughing now.

Okay. So I'm being lazy for not writing a detailed blog post on my trip. But I think the photos paint it all for you. The sun, the sky, the nonexistent beach, the food, the lack of combing the shops for knick-knacks due to heat, the hotel room and our pretty faces. And who doesn't love photos?

P.S. Babe, I might want to record my song again, this time with your brother's help. Kevin?