My thoughts exactly

The knocking on the door was incessant, though for all the reasons exist to justify my annoyance with it, such as the way each pounding reverberates within my skull with amplified intensity and volume, I was momentarily angered by the irregularity of its rhythm, or lack thereof.

Knock. Pause. Knock. Pause. Pause. Knock. Knock. Pause. Knock. Pause. Knock-knock-knock.

My eyelids fought the gravitational weight of sleep to flutter open, only to narrow at the noise in its wake (no pun intended).  Belatedly, I heard the spurts of muffled garble interspersed with the pounding. Ching? Ding? Ping? Ling?

Oh wait. It is Ying. The second half of my name is a mere white noise from where I am lolling on the bed, as if the door is a translator for the speaker (whose voice I can by now pinpoint to being my grandmother’s) and my Hui is not a valid word in its language, thus lost in translation.  

Finally, I draw upon the dredges of energy my drowse-laden body can offer to utter an unintelligent and incoherent reply, acknowledging her wake-up call and indicating that my immobility is a temporary state awaiting metamorphosis.

The knocking ceased.

Cheeses and rice. What ungodly hour is this?!

I flopped over amongst the crumpled sheets and my tangled earphones, looking less like the quick flip of a piece of lean meat on a hot pan to cook the raw side, and more akin to the slow disjointed turn of a overtly burdened spit over a small fire.

I dared a squint at the window to judge the time of day.

HOLY EXCREMENT MY EYES.

I am putting my finger on ten o’clock. Perhaps even eleven. Well, either is an accomplishment (the hum of gratuitous prayers can be heard in the house whenever I happened to wake before noon). I mean, I know the early bird gets the worm, but I would prefer my motto to be ‘the second mouse gets the cheese’.

As I contemplate on my next move in the speed of sloth, a new shout did not take long to reach me. Neurological voice recognition mechanism labels my aunt as the source of sound.

“Are you up yet? It’s very late already! It’s almost 8.30am!”

VAT.

This is diabolical. Is it even humane to wake someone up before nine during a vacation?! Should not there be a legal set of holiday etiquettes to adhere to –

“Your breakfast is getting cold! There’s sausages and eggs and baked beans! Do you want coffee or not?”

Food.

All other thoughts ceased to exist following this point.