Gobble gobble

Today is Thanksgiving, the day to be thankful for everything that we have and everyone in our life, because the feeling of gratitude only comes once a year. That is right folks, for the other 364 days, we get to experience nothing but hate, jealousy, ungraciousness, skepticism and criticism towards all the beautiful people who cared about us and made our insignificant existence a memorable journey.

Well, I should also list out the couple of things that I am grateful for, or I will have to wait till next November to do so:

8. Karma. She is the cheapest assassin one can hire; you need only pay the price of a fair heart, a kind soul and an admirable personality, and all those who have done you wrong will simply perish. She cleanses the world of idiotic scum yet leaves enough of them alive to boost the superiority of the intelligent. She is much more efficient in granting wishes than Santa Claus and she basically invented the naughty and nice list; if you want a naughty present, be naughty, if you know what I mean.  

7. Google and social media. Without the former, there would be no twenty first century degree holders or even high school graduates. Without the latter, the very indulging sin of stalking celebrities and people we have the hots for would be nigh on impossible to commit. Spiders are not the only creatures that have fun on the web.

6. You Tube video-converter websites and music downloading tools. Oh illegal heaven, I am eternally in debt to you for my constantly evolving music taste, the albums that may one day be the soundtrack of a wonderful memory, and the new friendships formed through fangirling over artistes whose songs you allow me to download to love better. Though I would like to request that you disable the downloading of tragic nonsense like Hot Problems and Friday, if nothing but to slow the spread of the musical diseases.

5. Books; thick, massive, tome-like books. Not only are they one of the best weapons hiding in plain sight, they have allowed me to avoid awkward conversations with people who speak only gibberish, and have helped me fence off those of the degrading status below forceful acquaintanceship by making me look immersed in its written world.

4. My talent in daydreaming. Who needs external stimulations from films and television programs when you can spawn an entire series with your mere imagination, on any topic that you happen to fancy, containing characters casted by you and voicing your own script?

3. My best friends. They may not be the reason I am alive (my physiological and anatomical engines are), but they sure as hell are the reason I LIVE. Only in the presence of these six idiosyncratic and awe-inspiring people that I have been spontaneous, frisky, imaginative, mad, frustrated, foul at heart, wicked, dirty, humorous, sarcastic, narcissistic, adventurous and never more comfortable with myself. I would better let you guys know how much I love you because I will have to be unappreciative of our friendship till the next Thanksgiving.

2. My family. For being the only people who love me simply because I existed. For not letting me starve to death. For reminding me of the cultural beauty of being a ching chong ling long.

1. Me. This is self-explanatory.   

Of course, there are a billion other things, little and big, that I am thankful for, but since I cannot call to mind all of them now, I guess they will have to wait till Thanksgiving 2013.