All the way down

Seriously. If you intend to chat, spiel, persiflage or have a tête-è-tête with me. Forget it.

I'm in a disarrayed, muddled mood now. Why?

2 of my cohorts are in a cold war.
And I'm caught up in the eye of it.

I'm not blaming either of them.

The icy wall was built in defense and it's animal instinct to defend oneself, no?

I'm blaming me.

I am the one who knew the situation from both angles. I am the one who had the privilege of being able to cross freely between both worlds. I am the one who had the whole bloody case all laid out right in front of me.

But all I did is stood by and observed while the seed of it grew into the hideous plant it is right now. Why?

I was afraid. Afraid of slipping something that might have fueled the tiny spark.

*Sighs in despair*

Had been clawing my mind for a solution since I woke up. It was a miracle I could even concentrate long enough to practice my viola.

4 months left.

And if Jing Hua successfully obtained the place in the Uni she applied to in Singapore and leaves in July, 3 months.

When life sucks. It sucks hard.