I read somewhere that writers are control freaks.
Since it would be downright moronic if I denied I’m a writer, then it would also be an ass of me if I don’t accept my being a control freak. But I do, wholly. And I could understand and reason with you why.
Bear with my narcissism if you will. See, when I’m writing, I am the God of my ink and paper world, the Lord of my verbal creation, the Authority of my virtual universe. I control everything; I control the concept to which my own planet bows, I control the lives that exist on its surface, I control the fate of these insignificant souls, heck, I control my characters’ emotions and their every single thought and movement. I play the ultimate omnipresent master puppeteer of my art.
Sad that I should lose this power every time I step back out into reality. No wonder I would be considerably upset when things don’t go my way in real life; when I’m not the one holding the reins to this twisted world; when the fairy dust had settled and my words lay lifeless on the tar road, serving only to express my exasperation, rather than breathing life to my imagination.
I hate that I sometimes have to be someone I’m not, just so I would pass as norm in a society, instead of penning the words, “She isn’t beautiful; she isn’t smart; most of all, she isn’t perfect. But it doesn’t matter; they see her as a living proof of someone who isn’t afraid of being who she is and people accept and love her for that,” then POOF, I become popular. Huh. Reality does NOT run like that, much to my disappointment. Words are nothing against the works of life.
And I hate that I can’t make you want me. Hate that mere scribbled alphabets can’t make you see that I’m better than her.
How freaky is this? To you, of course.
But screw it. I found my niche in this harsh place. I found myself a band of control freaks who believe that the world WILL bow to us one day. So no matter how stoned the earth seems to get, there will always be a secret haven for us, within us.
Just a gentle note: Never piss a writer off. Words are our shadows and we can shape them just as a clown can knot a wiggly balloon into a sword, though a sharper and much harmful one.
6 comments:
DITTO on the control freak thing!!! i think ALL of us are, no wonder we so often get grumpy when the majority vote isn't in our favour. and eu thinks that its just ME. =__=
haha NICE PENMENSHIP!!! lovin your metaphors and beautifully concise examples.
screw wanting to be popular. in our heads, we're what we want to be.
DON'T tell me that this is about mick jagger =.=
I like the line 'bout how ur God of ur ink and paper world, Lord of ur verbal creation and Authorithy to ur virtual universe.
It's soooo original !!
On another note, it definitely brightens my day seeing u in retainers in the pic below.
>Joanna: I guess all human beings are, just we writers are more serious than the rest. It's like we're diseased with control freak-ness or something. Of course, there's tons of kinds of control-freaks, like insecurity in relationships.
Thanks babe! Appreciate that you notice them (:
I am sort of popular already lol. By being a lone ranger, a girl who hates shopping, a music student who talks philosophy and science, someone who attends green events and journalism camps and being generally weird.
Well, it is, but not in a present tense.
>Froggy: Haha. Actually, I got inspiration for those lines when I read the Reasons to Stay Away from Writers post I found on StumbleUpon. I can't remember whether I tagged you for that link.
You can now quote me!
As for that photo, I really wonder how I ever took it. I was about to delete, to be honest, but then I realized it fitted my post. LOL.
Holy cow. I'm so glad I read this. Great work, Ying Hui. =) Now I really wish I can write like that.
Thanks, honey (:
You CAN write like that! You always have been able to. And you still can, once the writer's block has passed. A short break is all you need. The last time I tried to write during The Block period, the posts came up so crappy it hurt my eyes. I even deleted some. Haha.
Just keep trying and your words will come back to you and I'll be here waiting to read them (no pressure)!
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