on the Outside

25^th December is approaching. The flames of Christmas spirit have begun to hiss and crackle into life. College mates are gearing up for a full blast fortnight caroling on the Hill of Entertainment. And I’m not included.

No, I’m not jealous, neither am I angry or in a vengeful mood. But yes, I do feel hurt, though in the mildest manner, a scrap on the knee. Kind of like standing on the outside, looking in.

God, I sound like a whiny and whimpering child.

I mean, who am I to blame? I did not take the initiative of enquiring and collecting information on the job. I did not make the move to probe around and be nosy. In the blur and undistinguishable entanglement of classes, assignments, practices and exams, I became lethargic and expect people to spoon feed me.

And now, I feel like a tribesman using a spear and shield to hunt for an internship, all on my own.

I guess Procrastination isn’t my middle name after all.

Passivity is.

P.S. I promise I’ll go up to Genting to support you guys and hopefully it doesn't come down to weekends (coz all we would be doing then is hiding in your rooms from the suffocating crowd) (: Maybe I could sneak in and crash in one of you people’s rooms…